Good evening BloodBowl fans, and welcome to ‘Tonight with Brenda’. So here we are on the eve of the seventh season of WoWLoF, and we are seeing new teams enter the fray, and old teams go by the wayside. Twenty Three teams stand off against each other, looking to get that slight advantage that may see them get to the playoffs. For one of these teams, they will step up and an crowned the WoWLoF champion, leaving 22 other teams in the dust.
So let’s take a closer look at this first week’s matches in closer detail.
So we have The Dirty Rats returning for a second season, against new comers Serpi Avion. Coach Mattu found his first season an interesting time, not only was he getting used to the intense physicality of the league, but also taking some time on how to get the best from his team. But as season six progressed, the skaven became more versed in playing to their strengths, namely speed and agility. Coach Mattu is sure to have a better season providing he plays to the strengths of his players, which funnily enough is not strength. His opponents, Serpi Avion, a Vampire team are new to the league this season, but their coach is not. This team of ghouls, wights and Vamipres are an unknown quantity for this season, but their coach has years of experience under his belt. A surprisingly large amount of years now I come to think about it, hmmmm maybe becoming affiliated to a Vampire team is more than just money orientated. Anyway, this team will hit hard, be crafty, conniving and hypnotising. But I feel what will separate this team will be down to the Vampires taste for Skaven blood.
A prediction for this opening game is tough, if the Vampires start eating their own players, then the Dirty Rats will take advantage with their speed. If the skaven try to hang physically with Serpi Avion, then it truly will be a bloody game. 3-1 to the Dirty Rats.
Our next game this week is the new Dark Elf team, the 86’ers, versus fan favourites the Southfarthing Piemen and their returning coach, Matt Smith. Let’s look at the 86’ers first, the new dark elf team are coached by Steve Barnes, formally of the Bloody Nine. Coach Barnes certainly has the experience needed to get the best out of this new Dark Elf team. I’m expecting to see lots of touchdowns being scored by star runner DeLorean, and a bloody number of casualties from the likes of Riggs and Murtaugh who are just two of the 86’ers Blitzers. We managed to get a few words from Murtaugh, who despite stating he was getting to old for this shit, was looking forward to the new season, and ripping into some Piemen to see what they were filled with.
Talking of the Piemen, after a successful season 6, the Piemen have rehired Coach Smith to ensure the long and storied history of the Piemen and Bloodbowl continues for many more seasons to come. I do feel that the Piemen will take a bit of a kicking during this game with the 86’ers, and may lose a number of their players. However with the likes of Franky Footstool, Stumpy McNumpty & Robin Banks in the team, an upset is always on the cards. In fact, we can go over to our reporter Skimpy McShortarse who is in Southfarthing now, and is believed to have several of the Piemen at hand for an exclusive pre-season interview. Skimpy, over to you.
Errr Skimpy are you there?
……..bzzzzzz….. “Carnage here” ……..bzzzzzzz………. “burning” ……..bzzzzzz……. “dead, all” ………….bzzzzzzz………… “Orcs” …….bzzzzzz………..
We seem to have lost connection there folks, and I’m sure Skimpy is being dramatic as he always likes to be. I’m sure we will get connection back soon enough. In the meantime, we’re going to hear a word from some of our sponsors.