The Spartak Moscelfs

Lord Nicholelf is rich and powerful, the owner of the largest estates on Ulthan and Tsar of his own personal agrarian fiefdom. Like all rich and powerful men, he has always wanted to gain more wealth, more fame and more prestige. So it was that he decided to found his own blood bowl team. With numerous petty lords and dukes ready to sign up in order to impress Nicholelf and catch his eye, there were no shortage of interested players. In no short a formidable High Elf team was formed and entered into the Elven leagues.

The St Petersberg Pirates had an instant impact on the league. Nicholls’s huge estates housed more lowering ranking nobles than any other on Ulthan, giving Nicholelf a huge player base to draw from. Such were the strictures of their tenure on Nicholelf’s land that many of those nobles were noble in name only, often living a life as hard as any rural peasant. It turns out that employing noble elves hardened over many years in the fields gave the Pirates a distinct advantage over other Elvis teams on the line of scrimmage.

A series of notably bloody clashes followed with Pirates defence dominating all comers and beginning to post casualty figures that any dark elf team would be proud of. Lord Nicholelf’s plan appeared to be working – it was surely only a matter of time before the big leagues came calling and he become a household name across the old world…

Unbeknownst to Nicholelf the seeds of his downfall had already been sown. The previously untouchable, fear inspiring Lord of St Petersberg was revealed to be a truely terrible blood bowl player. Looped passes, interceptions and mis read plays from their Lord, Master and Thrower meant that the Pirates just were never able to meet their potential, despite the excellence of their defence and their LOS.

Completely unable to see his own ineptitude Nicholelf fired, banished and had executed numerous catcheers and at one point the entire LOS. To compensate he randomly promoted peasants into noble positions, hurriedly drafting them into his team. By their very nature many of these players had a healthy disrespect for authority and a hatred of the opulent wealth of Nicholelf. None more so than back up thrower Vladimir Lenelf.

Matters finally came to a head in 2118.

Thanks to the development of superb blitzers Leelf Trotsky and Joself Stalin – dubbed the brains and the brawn the Pirates were smashing all aside. Whilst catchers Nikolelf Bukharin and Sergelf Syrtsov must have had nerves of steel as the first players to ever be able to stick to their running lanes and catch passes from Nicholelf. The result was a run all the way to the play offs. 1-0 down at half time the players could see glory slipping away and Lenelf chose his moment to demand to be brought on from the bench. In a long and passionate so each Lenelf decried Nicholelf and asked the players to support his uprising.

But crucially Stalin was receiving treatment for concussion and seeing a room full of guards Trotsky didn’t see that the time was right. With no support Lenelf was manhandled from the room but crucially his captors didn’t totally disagree with his sentiments and so released him rather than execute him.

Phenomenal second half performances by many of the players carried the Pirates into the finals against the dark elves of Khaines Killers. Now, the tale turns murky and no one quite knows what happened. But in the opening moments the usually brilliant Pirates LOS, parted like the red sea and the entire Killers team was allowed to pile into Nicholef rendering unconscious and out for the game…

As his former Lord and master was carried from the field of play, Lenelf (snuck into the stadium by the same guards that realised him) appeared on the side lines in full kit. With a proper thrower on the pitch for the first time in their history,, the Pirates were unstoppable running out 6-0 winners and taking the championships.

Recognising that their lives would now be forfit the team were now more open to Lenelf’s ideas. He spoke passionately about leaving behind a life of servitude. About a team of equals who all played for each other and shared the spoils. With Stalin on his feet to lead the players in defeating the guards, and the support of the eloquent Trotsky the decision was now made.

Leaving behind their jewel encrusted armour and helms, the team fled from Ulthan…. Lenelf had told them of a place, a utopia where all were equal and where all could stand or fall on their own merit… a place of opportunity where glory awaited those with the will to take it… a place called WoWLoF….

And so rebranded as The Spartak Moscelfs the team arrived in the olde world ready to size their destiny.

Coach Chris Mac